When I was in medical school, our grades weren’t just about percentages. They were about distribution. After every exam, the professor would project a bell curve onto the screen. The average might be a 70%. One standard deviation above the mean might be a 75%. Two standard deviations above the mean an 80%.
If you fell two standard deviations below the mean, you were in trouble. If you fell two above, you were exceptional. Roughly 2.5% on each end of the spectrum. The statistical outliers.
At the time, I thought this was just a grading system.
Now I think it’s a metaphor for financial independence and happiness.
I’ve come to believe there is a happiness–financial independence curve. And if you want money to give you what you actually crave, you have to travel all the way through it.
Most people don’t.
Let’s start at the beginning.
The Childhood Baseline
Assuming we aren’t born into trauma—assuming there’s food, shelter, some sense of safety—most of us begin life in a state that looks suspiciously like contentment.
As kids, we operate almost entirely in flow. We eat when we’re hungry. We sleep when we’re tired. We play when something delights us. Our days are purpose-driven in the most organic way possible. We follow curiosity.
No five-year-old worries about optimizing their LinkedIn profile.
Then something shifts.
We start school. We sit in chairs we don’t want to sit in. We raise our hands for permission to speak. We begin trading autonomy for achievement.
It’s not malicious. It’s societal. As we move into middle school, high school, college, the conversation changes from “What do you love?” to “What will you become?”
Purpose remains—but it becomes structured. Restricted. Graded.
Eventually we enter adulthood. We get jobs. We pay mortgages. We learn about 401(k)s and health insurance deductibles. And somewhere in that process, a quiet nostalgia forms.
We remember that earlier state…the flow, the freedom, the childlike sense of possibility.
And we decide money is the bridge back.
The Promise of Financial Independence
This is the unspoken contract behind the American Dream.
Yes, it’s the house and the picket fence. But more deeply, it’s the belief that if we accumulate enough, we can reclaim agency. We can choose our days. We can say no.
Financial independence becomes a portal. Work hard now. Save aggressively. Delay gratification. And one day you’ll return to that childlike freedom—this time with adult resources.
But here’s where the bell curve comes in.
Most people never make it.
I’d argue 95% fall off somewhere along the way. Not because they’re lazy. Because the climb is long. Burnout creeps in. Lifestyle inflation whispers. YOLO and FOMO seduce.
We tell ourselves we’ll start saving next year. We upgrade the car. We take the bigger mortgage. The dream quietly shifts from freedom to comfort.
That’s the first deviation from the mean. The first standard deviation below the path. Financial independence remains theoretical.
But let’s say you’re different.
Let’s say you do the hard thing. You save. You invest. You delay. You build enough that work becomes optional.
You’ve reached financial independence.
Congratulations. You’ve made it into the rare 5%.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: that’s not where the story ends.
The Second Deviation
Of the small percentage who reach financial independence, many never actually use it.
They identify with the climb. Their identity is wrapped up in net worth, optimization, accumulation. They fear loss. They fear stepping away. They fear the quiet question: Now what?
So they stay.
They keep working jobs they don’t love. They tell themselves one more year. They hoard optionality but never exercise it.
On paper, they’re free. In practice, they’re still constrained.
This is the second deviation.
They’ve reached the number but not the transformation. They have wealth but not return to flow.
If 5% make it to financial independence, maybe half of those actually use it to redesign their lives.
That leaves 2.5%.
Two standard deviations above the mean.
Where Happiness Actually Lives
The top 2.5% aren’t just wealthy.
They are willing to release.
They let go of loss aversion. They stop optimizing for accumulation and start optimizing for aliveness. They reorient around purpose, not the performative kind from a college application, but the intrinsic kind from childhood.
They build lives that look strange from the outside. Part-time work. Creative pursuits. Geographic arbitrage. Deep community involvement. More Tuesday afternoons at home.
They remember that money was never the point.
Money was the tool.
Happiness, at least the durable kind, comes from agency and engagement. From doing work that feels meaningful. From relationships that feel real. From days that aren’t entirely scripted by someone else’s calendar.
Financial independence simply removes excuses.
It doesn’t guarantee courage.
That’s the final exam.
The Question
So here we are, back at the bell curve.
Most people never start the climb. Some start and burn out. A small percentage reach financial independence. An even smaller percentage allow themselves to fully inhabit it.
Two standard deviations above the mean.
Not just financially independent, but existentially independent.
The irony is that the destination looks a lot like the beginning.
More play. More flow. More choosing how to spend your time.
But this time, it’s intentional.
So the question isn’t just whether you’ll reach financial independence.
The question is: if you do, will you use it?
Will you be willing to step away from the scoreboard? To risk identity? To trade status for sovereignty?
Will you land two standard deviations above the mean?
Because that’s where the real outliers live.
Not just rich.
Free.
Did you catch the most recent episode of Earn & Invest?
The Purpose Code is Now Available!
Coming soon! I am happy to announce that I have a new book coming out soon about our healthcare system. Stay tuned!
You really think only 2.5% of the population enjoy a sense of freedom? That would be tragic indeed - but I wholeheartedly disagree. Millions of Americans are FI and happy but still choose to work because they want to, not out of anxiety. Millions more are retirees who may not be “rich” but live content lives of freedom on social security or pensions - especially if they also have a paid off house or partner. Millions more than that are below retirement age and not wealthy but are nevertheless free and don’t work - they rely on partner’s or parents’ income, they have low expenses or woe happily part time, etc. Frankly I’d wager without bothering to look it up that more than 2.5% of the population is both rich AND retired! But you don’t have to be 2.5 standard deviations above the mean to be rich, happy or free. Thank goodness!
Wow!!!!!! So true. Not many people want to give up the status, identity and be misunderstood by society. They prefer to keep the golden handcuffs. And with them, you are never free. Great article!