Whenever I finish a keynote or a panel discussion, a familiar thing happens. A few people will wander up to the edge of the stage, wait for the crowd to thin out, and ask me some variation of the same question:
“Where did you get your training? Have you taken acting classes?”
They want to know the secret formula. They want the syllabus.
But the truth is, I’ve never taken a formal public speaking class. What I have done is spend years standing at the bedsides of dying hospice patients, listening to the cadence of human grief, hope, and connection. I’ve spent years behind a podcast microphone, learning how to hold someone’s attention when they have a million other things competing for it.
Public speaking is an incredibly high-stakes skill, and I don’t just mean when you’re standing under bright lights in front of a crowded auditorium. You are public speaking when you run a Tuesday morning team meeting. You are public speaking when you’re trying to convince your spouse or your kids to get on board with a new family plan. The ability to speak clearly, with gravitas and intent, changes the trajectory of your life.
Over the years, I’ve realized that being a good speaker has very little to do with memorizing facts or having a perfect slide deck. It comes down to a few fundamental psychological shifts.
If you want to give a talk that actually moves people, you have to stop giving speeches and start understanding the performance.
1. Loop the Story
First and foremost, any great talk must be rooted in storytelling.
When you stand up to speak, your job isn’t just to dump information from your brain into theirs. That’s what an email is for. Your job is to reach outside of their minds and tap into their hearts and souls.
The best way to do this is through narrative loop structure. You start with a vulnerable, compelling story. You draw the audience in, build the tension, and then—right before the resolution—you pivot to the data or the lesson you’re trying to teach. You tie the information into the emotional framework you just built. Finally, at the very end of your talk, you close the loop. You return to the story, tie up the loose ends, and give the audience that emotional release.
If you don’t use a story, you’re just a textbook with vocal cords. Nobody buys into a textbook.
2. Treat the Stage Like a Theater
I’ve stopped thinking of public speaking as “giving a speech.” I think of it as a performance.
When an actor steps onto a theater stage, they aren’t just reciting lines they memorized in their dressing room. They are hyper-aware of their pacing. They manage their facial expressions. They lean into the heavy, uncomfortable weight of a well-timed pause.
How you deliver your message matters infinitely more than the exact words you choose. Control of your physical presence translates directly into control of the room. When you rush through your points because you’re nervous, you lose the audience. When you stand still, breathe, and look someone in the eye during a moment of silence, you command them.
3. The Mirror Effect
The secret weapon of great public speaking is understanding human mirroring.
An audience is a giant mirror. They will reflect back to you exactly whatever energy, emotion, and posture you project onto them.
If you want your audience to feel a deep, poignant sadness, you have to allow yourself to get a little choked up on stage. You have to be vulnerable first. If you show them authentic emotion, they will feel it in their own chests and mirror it back to you.
But this rule is a double-edged sword, and it’s exactly why confidence is non-negotiable.
If you step up to the microphone with trembling hands, a weak voice, and a posture that says, “I hope I don’t screw this up,” the audience will instantly mirror your anxiety. They will tighten up. They’ll start worrying for you, squirming in their seats, praying you don’t bomb. The moment an audience is anxious on your behalf, you’ve lost them.
Audiences want to feel safe. They want to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are in complete control of the ship. The more grounded and unshakable you appear, the more comfortable they feel letting their guard down and receiving your message.
Someone Worth Buying Into
You’ll notice that I haven’t spent any time talking about how to construct the perfect argument or how to research your topic. That’s because the content of your message is often secondary to how you carry yourself.
When people listen to you speak, they aren’t just analyzing your data. They are making a holistic judgment about who you are. They aren’t buying the message; they are buying you.
If you want to be an effective communicator—whether on a grand stage, in a corporate boardroom, or at your own dinner table—stop focusing so much on the script. Focus on the connection. Build up your presence, master your pacing, and learn to tell a story that hits people in the chest.
Become someone worth buying into, and the audience will follow you anywhere.
Did you catch this week’s episode of Earn & Invest (Click to listen)?
The Purpose Code is Now Available!
Thank you for the insightful article Jordan 🙏🏼