Have you ever hit a major goal—whether it was landing a promotion, hitting a net worth milestone, or buying that thing you’ve always wanted—only to find that you feel exactly the same?
You are no happier. No more fulfilled. You just stand there, and immediately look toward the next, harder goal.
This is a crisis of “enoughness.” We constantly tell ourselves that once we reach a specific point, we will finally feel satisfied. But when we get there and the feeling doesn’t come, we assume the problem was the goal itself. So, we move the goalposts. We double down.
When we try to externally validate an internal void, we usually trap ourselves on one of three treadmills:
The Hedonic Treadmill: This is the belief that buying things will make us happy. You buy a new car, a house, or a gadget, and you do get a quick hit of dopamine. But you quickly adapt to the new standard. The thrill fades, and you find yourself needing to buy something bigger and better just to feel that same brief spark again. You can’t buy your way to enoughness.
The Net Worth Treadmill: This is rampant in the financial independence community. You convince yourself that hitting a specific number in your investment accounts will finally bring peace. But once you hit it, you realize you aren’t any happier. So, you either double the target or become terrified of losing what you have, transforming into an incredibly conservative, fearful investor. No matter how high the number gets, you are always searching for more.
The Achievement Treadmill: You tell yourself you’ll be happy once you become a doctor, make partner at the firm, or become president of the company. You grind for years, reach the summit, and realize you still feel empty. The only logical solution your brain can come up with is to immediately start gunning for the next promotion. It is a never-ending cycle of striving that leads straight to burnout.
All three treadmills lead to exhaustion, and none of them lead to fulfillment.
Why? Because you are trying to solve an internal problem with an external solution. You cannot convince yourself you are enough by pointing to your bank account, your resume, or your garage. These externalities rarely fill what’s missing on the inside: confidence, security, self assurance.
Enoughness is a completely internal state. It stems from your past and the stories you tell yourself about who you are. To actually feel fulfilled, you have to do the hard, internal work—often through therapy—of re-evaluating your past and realizing that you are already enough, regardless of what you earn or achieve. You don’t need to continuously validate your own goodness.
When you start from a place of enoughness, you don’t need to save more, buy more, or achieve more to prove your worth. You just get to be happy with what you have already.
Doesn’t that sound better?
Did you catch this week’s episode of Earn & Invest (Click to listen)?
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