Happiness is not enough. If it was, our conversation about purpose would be over. We could concentrate on our cognitive understanding of the past (meaning) and build a present and future of little p purpose. And we would be done. Except, that upon explaining these principles to countless people, I get the same questions over and over again:
What about impact? What about legacy?
The theory is that to have big impact, you have to pursue big audacious purpose. Which works, it turns out, if you happen to be the right person, at the right time, doing the right thing, with luck on your side. If you have all these headwinds, you might become a billionaire, cure cancer, land on the moon, or win a nobel peace prize. If all these stars aline perfectly, you might be the one in a million who truly changes the lives of the public in general.
If, on the other hand, you are not one of the chosen few, you are likely to be relegated to a life of purpose anxiety and downright failure. When purpose and impact are so narrowly defined, i.e. black and white or win or lose, we end up with an extremely high likelihood of disappointment.
And this generally feels bad.
So how do we then not fall into this trap? The answer, interestingly, comes from the study of generational trauma. As defined by Talkspace:
Generational trauma, also known as intergenerational trauma, refers to the passing down of traumatic experiences or stressors from one generation to another. This specific type of trauma often happens as a result of direct personal experiences, witnessing acts of violence, or residing in environments where the threat of violence is ever-present. Such trauma can manifest in various ways, including anxiety, depression, and PTSD.
Accordingly, we pass on trauma from parent to child, generation to generation. This trauma is very impactful. It actually leaves a negative legacy. It endures.
I worry about money because my grandma grew up in an orphanage during the great depression. Her fears were passed on to my mom and then were exacerbated by the death of my father in the midst of his money making years.
Those fears have been passed on to me and persist even though, unlike my grandmother, I live in a time of economic abundance. They persist even though, unlike my mother, my finances haven’t been threatened by the loss of a spouse. They persist because they have been passed down through generational experiences and the narratives my family has built around them.
While all these descriptions of generational trauma are absolutely true and unfortunate, they ignore the fact that not only the bad but also the good can be passed down.
I call this generational growth. Not only trauma but skills, passions, talents, and habits can be gifted to the next generation. This is the positive side of legacy and impact. I am good at math because my mom is good at math. My mom is good at math because her father was a CPA and modeled joy and contentment surrounding his career choice and the requisite skills that he acquired to fulfill his professional role.
The best way to abate generational trauma and the negative impact that comes with it, is to seek counseling and rewrite negative narratives with narrative therapy. The best way to foster generational growth and create a positive impact and legacy is to pursue little p purpose.
We will discuss why in next Wednesday’s post.
Today’s Poll
Did you catch this week’s episode of Earn & Invest (Click to listen)?
Path to Purpose Coaching
Over the last year, writing my new book The Purpose Code, I have spent a huge amount of time thinking about, writing about, and discussing purpose. I have offered one-on-one and group coaching to my mastermind group, Wealth With Purpose. These discussions stem from my real life encounters with dying hospice patients as well as the numerous interactions I have had with people after reading Taking Stock.
What I've found is that most of us who listen to the Earn & Invest Podcast struggle with three basic issues:
How do I define purpose in my life?
How do I transition to a more fulfilling career?
What is enough money look like? Enough life?
To help navigate these waters, I have decided to offer the Path to Purpose coaching program. This is one-on-one coaching with me to help you further define purpose, direction, and career. Sessions will be spread over five weeks with a goal to provide a more concrete and enjoyable path to crack the purpose code and start living your life now whether you are broke, pre financial independence, financially independent, or beyond.
https://www.earnandinvest.com/coaching