I believe that goals get us in trouble. It is not a popular opinion. If you listen to all the gurus out there, they will tell you to shoot for big audacious goals. They proclaim that starting the billion dollar business or writing the next best seller will finally bring you the happiness, acclaim, and success that you are ultimately looking for.
I call bullshit.
There are no lack of successful people out there. From Steve Jobs to Elon Musk, we have been inundated with the glory of hearing about ultra successful people who set big goals. We worship at the alter of such achievement and yet rarely stop to ask ourselves one simple question:
Are those people particularly happy?
Did creating the iPhone make Steve Jobs happy in the long-term? Has Tesla or SpaceX satisfied Elon Musk? While I haven’t walked a day in their shoes, from the outside, both look/looked pretty unsettled and miserable. You see, no matter how big a goal they accomplished, it was never enough.
They were, in fact, trying to purpose their way to enough, which we saw from the last post, never really works. Goals have a funny way of relating to our sense of enough. People who feel enough already, find themselves rather agnostic about goals. They appreciate them, but they are not the end-all, be-all.
Those who feel like they are not enough, cling to goals in the hope that they will fill the void inside of them. And it never works, so they double down and go for a bigger, better goal.
Conversely, being goal phobic is probably not the right stance either. It is not that goals themselves are toxic, it’s that trying to define yourself based on the attainment of those goals that becomes less than ideal. Don’t be afraid of goals, just don’t rely on them either.
Be goal agnostic, not goal phobic. Book writing is a great example for me. I would love my book to sell 100,000 copies. A big audacious goal for sure. But my sense of self does not hinge on accomplishing this milestone. I am happy enough enjoying the process of writing and publishing the book.
Any accolades above and beyond that…is just icing on the cake (speaking of which, today is my birthday!)
Today’s Poll
Did you catch this week’s episode of Earn & Invest (Click to listen)?
Path to Purpose Coaching
Over the last year, writing my new book The Purpose Code, I have spent a huge amount of time thinking about, writing about, and discussing purpose. I have offered one-on-one and group coaching to my mastermind group, Wealth With Purpose. These discussions stem from my real life encounters with dying hospice patients as well as the numerous interactions I have had with people after reading Taking Stock.
What I've found is that most of us who listen to the Earn & Invest Podcast struggle with three basic issues:
How do I define purpose in my life?
How do I transition to a more fulfilling career?
What is enough money look like? Enough life?
To help navigate these waters, I have decided to offer the Path to Purpose coaching program. This is one-on-one coaching with me to help you further define purpose, direction, and career. Sessions will be spread over five weeks with a goal to provide a more concrete and enjoyable path to crack the purpose code and start living your life now whether you are broke, pre financial independence, financially independent, or beyond.
https://www.earnandinvest.com/coaching
I'm known as a hardcore operator: goals, metrics, deadlines, etc.
But when I took some time away from work, I tried to do the opposite: no goals, metrics, deadlines, anything.
I may have "themes" of things I'm working on, but I let the outcomes unfold must more naturally and spontaneously.
...such as better way of living than before.
Happy birthday! I think that some people have a history (that might include generational trauma or childhood trauma) and/or a personality type that cannot coast, that has to keep pushing various limits. While we can reason our way to some level of balance, it's unlikely that a Jobs or Musk would be able to stop the inner drive to invent, create, etc. even as they see various people in their lives run for cover because of their behavior! We can tell extreme sports virtuosos to slow down or take it easy, but that isn't how they're wired, at least not until they're old (if they live to old age)...