While many might think sadness is the opposite of happiness, I see it differently. To me, happiness exists on a continuum, with profound joy at the far right and fleeting thrills at the left. The real opposite of happiness, in my view, is the superficial and the tawdry—it's the act of worshipping things.
Buying things for pleasure is perhaps one of the most transient thrills available. Thanks to the hedonic treadmill, we know that purchasing items typically provides only brief bursts of happiness before we adapt and return to our baseline levels—a phenomenon known as hedonic adaptation. Essentially, you can't buy your way to lasting happiness, a mistake often made in the futile pursuit of keeping up with the Joneses.
In light of the fleeting joy that comes from consumerism, many people have shifted their focus towards experiences. The argument goes that we should invest our money in experiences rather than possessions. Experiences offer dividends: one can savor the anticipation of a great adventure, enjoy the experience itself, and then cherish the memories afterward.
While experiences do seem to be a step up from buying things, drawing us closer to the elusive concept of happiness, I sometimes wonder if we give them too much credit. For instance, while running with the bulls in Pamplona was exhilarating, the plane journey was dreadful, the extra work to afford the trip was a drag, and the jet lag was grueling.
Experiences are inherently finite—they're brief and then they're gone. If the lead-up and aftermath are less enjoyable, does the experience itself justify the time and effort?
Bucket list items sound appealing, but they often offer only temporary satisfaction. The act of ticking off one item just leads to the quest for the next, trapping us on a different kind of treadmill. Are we truly finding satisfaction?
I believe that true happiness might actually come from becoming the person we aspire to be. Neurochemically, this may involve steering clear of fleeting dopamine spikes and focusing on more enduring happiness driven by oxytocin. It’s less about acquiring things or accumulating experiences and more about engaging in deeply meaningful activities that shape our identity and put us in a state of flow.
There is a connection between things, experiences, and happiness, but it’s a fragile one. It’s not merely about running with the bulls; it’s about embodying the spirit of adventure and filling our lives with purposeful activities, whether they occur abroad or in our own backyard. These activities may involve spending money but don’t have to.
Ultimately, becoming the person you want to be and fostering a sense of flow in your life seems to me to be the closest approximation to true happiness. Unlike material possessions, you can't buy your way there, and unlike experiences, it’s not a fleeting achievement—it’s an ongoing journey.
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Path to Purpose Coaching
Over the last year, writing my new book The Purpose Code, I have spent a huge amount of time thinking about, writing about, and discussing purpose. I have offered one-on-one and group coaching to my mastermind group, Wealth With Purpose. These discussions stem from my real life encounters with dying hospice patients as well as the numerous interactions I have had with people after reading Taking Stock.
What I've found is that most of us who listen to the Earn & Invest Podcast struggle with three basic issues:
How do I define purpose in my life?
How do I transition to a more fulfilling career?
What is enough money look like? Enough life?
To help navigate these waters, I have decided to offer the Path to Purpose coaching program. This is one-on-one coaching with me to help you further define purpose, direction, and career. Sessions will be spread over five weeks with a goal to provide a more concrete and enjoyable path to crack the purpose code and start living your life now whether you are broke, pre financial independence, financially independent, or beyond.
https://www.earnandinvest.com/coaching