In a recent episode of the Earn and Invest podcast, I had a profound conversation with Dr. Santi Tanikella about a very specific, modern affliction: the deep, “guttural loneliness” so many adults feel today.
It is that hollow feeling that creeps in even when you’ve done everything right on paper. You have the job, the house, the savings rate—but something is still fundamentally misaligned.
That conversation stuck with me. It inspired me to sit down behind the mic for a solo “10 Things” episode to share some of the life advice I’ve gathered over my 53 years on this planet. Drawing from my own experiences as a hospice physician, a podcaster, and a coach, I wanted to outline ten ways we can step out of that loneliness and back into our own lives.
Here is a quick look at the ten things I break down in the episode:
Thing 1: Forgive yourself. You’re better than you think. Most of us walk around blinded by our own feelings of inadequacy. Take a step back. You are actually quite smart, capable, and financially savvy. Give yourself some grace.
Thing 2: Most people are less happy than you. Social media is a toxic facade where everyone appears to be living a flawless life. Stop playing the comparison game. Behind closed doors, most people are privately struggling just as much, if not more, than you are.
Thing 3: Attempts are more important than success. I have sat at the bedsides of the dying for years. I can promise you this: people at the end of their lives do not regret their failures. They regret the deeply important things they never had the courage to try. True contentment comes from intentionally putting yourself in the arena.
Thing 4: Put purpose and identity first, money second. This is a massive flaw in the Financial Independence community. We prioritize net worth and frugality over meaning. If you accumulate wealth without knowing what lights you up, you will just end up with a lot of money and a very “little life” devoid of connection.
Thing 5: When it comes to money, be less efficient. Perfect is the enemy of good. Stop wasting hours obsessing over the perfect tax hack or stressing over the highest possible safe withdrawal rate. A “good enough” financial plan leaves you more time to actually go out and live your life.
Thing 6: Authentic vulnerability rarely backfires. Artificial vulnerability will draw criticism, but sharing your genuine truths with good intentions is an absolute superpower. It fosters deep human connection and opens the door to new opportunities.
Thing 7: Displaying your Achilles heel strengthens it. Hiding your weaknesses and keeping secrets creates a life of constant fear—it is death by a thousand cuts. Openly exposing your vulnerabilities completely removes the power others have to use them against you.
Thing 8: Humility and confidence can (and should) coexist. Confidence without humility breeds arrogance. Humility without confidence prevents you from sharing your talents with the world. You need the self-awareness to carry both.
Thing 9: Life is long. You won’t miss out. There is a panicked “carpe diem” mindset that tells us we have to do everything right now. But life is abundant. It is full of different seasons and rich with second chances. Don’t stress over missing out on any single opportunity.
Thing 10: Love lifts you, and it will always hurt. Loving anything—a spouse, a friend, a passion—inevitably ends in loss and pain. You cannot protect yourself from it. Pain is the inevitable reward for a life well-lived, so you must choose to love anyway.
A Note on Who This Is For
In the after-show segment of this episode, I read a fantastic, anonymous email from a listener. They pointed out that my content tends to resonate much more heavily with a higher net-worth demographic rather than FI beginners who are just trying to scrape together their first million.
I completely agree with this assessment.
There are countless incredible creators out there teaching the basic mechanics of investing, budgeting, and safe withdrawal rates. I intentionally leave those topics to them. My goal with Earn and Invest has always been to facilitate “next level” discussions. I want to talk to the people navigating the complex, often messy reality of post-FI life—the people trying to figure out what comes after the spreadsheets.
If you are ready to move beyond the math and start doing the deep work of aligning your money with your purpose, this episode is for you.
This is really great. I hope you don't mind, but I refereneced your #4 in my latest article. It was the perfect way to sum up the content: https://billynorden.substack.com/p/the-most-important-question-about
I truly appreciated items 8 and 9. Well done, thank you