Purpose has become one of those words that feels both inspiring and exhausting at the same time.
Everyone talks about it.
Everyone wants it.
And yet most people secretly feel like they’re doing it wrong.
For years we’ve been told that purpose is out there somewhere—hidden like a needle in a haystack. If we search hard enough, change jobs enough times, read enough books, or meditate enough hours, eventually we’ll discover the one thing we were meant to do.
But the longer I’ve studied happiness, money, and meaning, the more I’ve come to believe that this whole framing is backwards.
Purpose isn’t something you find.
It’s something you build.
This week on Earn & Invest, I recorded a special episode called “10 Things Thursday.” In it, I revisit some of the central ideas from my book The Purpose Code and break them down into ten insights about how purpose actually works in real life.
Not the Instagram version.
The real version.
And it starts with a simple but powerful truth.
Purpose Matters More Than We Think
Study after study shows that people who feel a sense of purpose live longer, healthier, and happier lives.
In fact, researchers consistently find that purpose correlates with lower rates of chronic disease, better mental health, and increased longevity.
If purpose were a medication, it would probably be the most prescribed drug in the world.
Except there’s a catch.
Most of us are approaching purpose in a way that makes it harder—not easier—to cultivate.
The Happiness Equation
One of the ideas I talk about in the episode is something I call the happiness equation.
Happiness is built from two ingredients:
Meaning + Purpose
They sound similar, but they function very differently.
Meaning is cognitive. It’s about how we interpret the past. The stories we tell ourselves about our experiences, failures, and successes. Meaning helps us make peace with where we’ve been.
Purpose, on the other hand, is entirely action-based.
Purpose lives in the present and future. It’s the activities we engage in that make us feel energized, curious, and alive.
Meaning explains our story.
Purpose helps us write the next chapter.
The Purpose Trap
Here’s where many people get stuck.
We’ve been conditioned to believe that purpose is something we must discover—like a calling waiting patiently for us somewhere in the universe.
But when we treat purpose like a hidden treasure, we create a psychological trap.
Researchers have even named this phenomenon purpose anxiety. One study suggests it affects up to 91% of people.
Purpose anxiety shows up as restlessness. Frustration. Job-hopping. A constant feeling that you’re supposed to be doing something bigger but can’t quite figure out what it is.
And social media doesn’t help.
Everywhere we look we see people who appear to have discovered their calling: entrepreneurs building seven-figure companies, athletes performing superhuman feats, influencers documenting seemingly perfect lives.
Which brings us to one of the most important distinctions I talk about in the episode.
Big P Purpose vs. Little P Purpose
I often divide purpose into two categories: Big P purpose and Little P purpose.
Big P purpose is the version society loves to celebrate.
It’s goal-oriented and achievement-based.
Become an astronaut.
Build a billion-dollar company.
Win a championship.
Write the next great American novel.
These goals are inspiring, but they’re also incredibly scarce. Only a small percentage of people will ever reach them.
When we tie our identity to these massive outcomes, we set ourselves up for disappointment, loss aversion, and what I call the achievement treadmill—the endless need to accomplish more just to feel okay about ourselves.
Little P purpose works differently.
It’s process-oriented.
Little P purpose lives in the activities that absorb us so deeply we lose track of time. Writing. Teaching. Cooking. Coding. Building. Coaching. Gardening. Recording podcasts.
These activities are abundant. They’re failure-proof. And they often produce something psychologists call flow—that feeling of being fully immersed in what you’re doing.
Little P purpose isn’t about reaching the summit.
It’s about loving the climb.
Are Goals Bad?
Not necessarily.
Having goals can be helpful. They give us direction and structure.
But goals become problematic when they force us into activities we hate.
Take podcasting as an example.
Setting a goal of reaching one million downloads might be motivating if you genuinely love interviewing people, researching ideas, and recording episodes.
But if hitting that goal requires doing things you dislike—say posting constant TikTok videos or chasing viral trends—then the process starts to feel toxic.
At that point, the goal is running the show instead of the purpose.
And that’s when things stop being fun.
The Secret to Building Purpose
If purpose isn’t something you find, how do you build it?
You experiment.
You try activities. You pay attention to what energizes you. You follow curiosity instead of pressure.
Over time, patterns emerge.
The things that light you up begin to form the foundation of your purpose.
And something interesting tends to happen along the way.
When you consistently pursue Little P purpose—activities you genuinely enjoy—you naturally attract people who resonate with the same energy.
Communities form. Ideas grow. Impact happens almost accidentally.
Ironically, this is often how the biggest forms of purpose emerge.
Not through chasing grand achievements, but through repeatedly doing small things you love.
A Listener’s Wisdom
At the end of the episode, I share a message from a listener named Ted N.
Ted wrote in with his own “10 keys” to financial independence.
His story is refreshingly simple.
He invested consistently.
Limited debt.
Earned a master’s degree to increase income.
Took full advantage of a company 401(k) match for more than three decades.
Lived simply and prioritized family experiences over material goods.
He also relied on a company pension plan and, perhaps most importantly, maintained what he called an attitude of gratitude.
There’s something beautiful about that phrase.
Attitude of gratitude.
It reminds us that happiness and purpose are rarely about dramatic breakthroughs. More often they’re built quietly, through consistent actions and small choices repeated over time.
What Are Your 10 Things?
So that’s the challenge I leave listeners with this week.
What are your 10 things?
Ten lessons about purpose.
Ten principles about money.
Ten ideas that have shaped how you live.
If you’d like to hear the full episode, check it out wherever you listen to podcasts.
And if you want the detailed show notes—as well as my weekly essays—you can always find them right here on Substack.
Because the conversation about purpose is never finished.
We’re all still building it.
The Big P / Little P distinction really landed for me. I spent years chasing Big P. The next promotion, the bigger scope, the title that would finally feel like enough.
What I didn't notice until recently is that the work I actually lost myself in was always the small stuff: writing, thinking through a problem, making something tangible. The Little P was there the whole time. I just had the hierarchy backwards.
The point about goals becoming toxic when they force you into activities you hate is something I'm sitting with. I think that's quietly what happened to a lot of people in tech. The goal (career growth, comp, status) started requiring things that had nothing to do with why they started.
Big p and little p… I’m happy to see someone besides me trying to make sense of the many meanings of the word purpose.
I often talk about lower case purpose and upper case Purpose, as well, but from a different lens. I write about meaning. Purpose is essential to feeling a sense of meaning in our lives. But not all purpose. Upper case Purpose is oriented outward toward something beyond the self, it is transcendent. Lower case purpose is directed inward, it is self-related. Only upper case Purpose contributes significantly to meaning.
I just published an essay about this in my newsletter The Meaning Map. I’d enjoy hearing your thoughts about it.