We don’t budget, we spend a lot, and we aren’t dying with zero. Here is a look at how we actually manage our money, and why I recently walked away from a massive career milestone.
If you spend enough time in the Financial Independence, Retire Early (FIRE) community, you start to hear the same rigid rules repeated over and over. But the truth is, my wife and I manage our wealth in ways that completely defy the traditional rules of the personal finance and FIRE communities.
In the latest solo “10 Things” episode of the Earn and Invest podcast, I decided to pull back the curtain and outline exactly how we do things differently.
Here is a breakdown of the ten things we do differently with our finances:
Thing 1: We don’t budget. Despite the popularity of budgeting tools, my wife and I have never maintained a formal budget. During our wealth-building years, we simply lived off one spouse’s income and saved the other.
Thing 2: We spend a lot. I completely reject the common FIRE goal of living on an artificially low budget like $40,000 a year. For example, our family’s COBRA health insurance alone currently costs $36,000 annually. We embrace high spending, and the massive tax bills that come with it, because money is ultimately meant to be spent.
Thing 3: We continue to make money. Even though I consider myself retired, I still earn an income from my part-time hospice work, podcasting, and speaking engagements. If you are doing purposeful work that you love and people are willing to pay you for it, there is no reason to turn that money down.
Thing 4: We say yes. To completely eliminate decision fatigue, we default to saying “yes” to major purchases. As long as an expense is below a certain threshold—which I currently anchor as high as a $100,000 for a once-a-year purchase—we buy it without stressing over the math.
Thing 5: We spend for ease. A core tenet of our philosophy is using money to remove friction from our lives. Rather than doing chores to save a few dollars, we enthusiastically hire nannies, house cleaners, and grocery shoppers to eliminate the daily tasks that cause stress and anxiety.
Thing 6: We don’t worry about spoiling our kids. I do not buy into the “shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations” fear. I freely gift my children money, believing that modeling excellent financial behavior and investments is a far better teacher than artificially making their lives difficult.
Thing 7: We are open about our wealth. My children know the exact details of the family’s net worth and business investments. I want to be entirely transparent about my financial successes and failures so my children understand how to take maximal agency over their own lives.
Thing 8: We still live below our ability. Despite our comfort with spending heavily on convenience, we do not push our spending to its maximum potential. We could easily buy nicer cars or bigger houses, but we choose not to because those upgrades wouldn’t remove any remaining friction from our lives.
Thing 9: We will not die with zero. Pushing back against the popular “Die with Zero” philosophy, I have no interest in the anxiety-provoking task of perfectly spending down my portfolio. I find that expensive “memory dividends” from lavish vacations are fleeting compared to the sustained joy I get from my daily, purposeful work.
Thing 10: Money rarely makes us happy. Recognizing the decreasing marginal utility of wealth, I’ve noted that once a person reaches a few million dollars, additional millions do absolutely nothing to increase their baseline happiness. I actively divorce money from happiness, realizing that true joy comes entirely from relationships and purpose.
Stepping Off the Achievement Treadmill
In the episode’s after-show segment, I also reflect on a very personal struggle: the “achievement treadmill”.
I recently secured a highly successful blogging gig for a third party that netted over a million views and international media attention in less than a year. However, because I lacked editorial control and didn’t genuinely enjoy the writing process, it only brought me anxiety.
Despite the negative impact on my brand, I walked away from the gig.
I am finally finding peace by abandoning the need to endlessly prove myself through professional achievements. I prefer to just be “Jordan”—a calm, happy person who goes on walks and spends time with his wife.
If you want to hear the full breakdown of our financial philosophy and my thoughts on letting go of the need to constantly achieve, be sure to listen to the full episode of the Earn and Invest podcast.
Hi Jordan, this blog post is VERY misleading about what FIRE really is (sigh). Where to start? There are few FIRE rules, so not sure where these came from. But here are a few thoughts: (1) FIRE does not require a budget (ask Paula Pant about the anti-budget). Sure, many people track spending, especially those getting started on ordinary non-doctor wages where spending $5 a day on coffee out does add up. (2) Of course someone who makes multiple hundreds of thousands a year can spend half (living a lavish life) and still save a huge amount without a budget. Though I am baffled why you think $40K is the arbitrary FIRE number? (it's not) (3) It is a rare FIRE voice that says you can't earn any money after retirement, so again I am baffled that this is somehow a FIRE rule (it is not). (4) People make value choices of where they spend their money. As you mentioned in other posts, it is not spending money that makes us happy, so who cares about what we say "no" or "yes" to when spending money? In the end we in the FIRE community have all bought our time freedom. (5) After retirement, spend however you value your time. Before retirement, unless you make "doctor" money, spending money on nannies is a delay in the time to early retirement and won't work for many -- it not a rule, just math and a choice of when to achieve true time freedom vs. trying to free up 30 minutes from mowing the lawn (which can actually cost you more time when you think about how long an average person needs to work to pay for it! This is a choice NOT a rule! (6) How is spending money on your kids a FIRE thing? People outside the FIRE community spoil their kids (or don't). This is weird to suggest it as a FIRE rule (it is not). (7) FIRE is all about open conversations about money. So how is this against the rules??? Again I am baffled. (8) Having millions and living below maximum spend rate is a brag, but not breaking some "rule of FIRE." Lots of people decide on their safe withdrawal rate, many of which are overly conservative, but each to their own -- there is NO rule on this. (9) You completely miss the point of Perkin's Die With Zero book -- it is NOT literal to spend your last dollar taking your last breath (sheesh, can you let this misrepresentation go?), nor is it a FIRE rule book. The book provides some thought-provoking strategies to maximize our enjoyment of life. (10) Money=happiness is not a FIRE rule, though I agree many people including some in the FIRE community may think this. Happiness is different for each person. It isn't just relationships or purpose. It can also come from psychological richness through exploring, curiosity and a variety of experiences (good and bad) that make for a good life. I recommend reading Shigehiro Oishi's Life in Three Dimensions.
This is a breath of fresh air, Jordan.
I am entirely with you on defying the rigid math to eliminate lifestyle friction.
I structure my own portfolio around a strict dual mandate to get this balance right.
First, I focus on cash-flow compounding for immediate daily flexibility here and now.
Second, I hold pure growth ETFs for that long-term security baseline.At the end of the day, it is all about prioritizing life return over paper return.
Why win the spreadsheet race if you are losing the life race?Awesome breakdown!